A Prussian Diary
by IggySwitzy
Summary: The awesome Prussia has begun to write a diary! Wait, I mean a 'journal'. Spilling all of his deepest (or shallowest) and dark (or bright) secrets for all to read! Isn't bringing up embarrassing moments just fantastic?
1. XXXXX1

_A Prussian Diary _

**Warning: **Prussia's thoughts... Yeah, you get it. He's quite the awesome

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Hetalia. Nope, not at all

* * *

**Day: **xxxxx1

**Time: **6:18 pm

The awesome me has started a diary! I-I mean a _journal. _Yes, journal.

...What am I suppose to put in this thing? I don't know.

...This is kinda boring. Sooo unawesome...

Oh, yeah, I watched over Hungary's house today. That unmanly bastard smacked me with his frying pan! You don't do that! And I was trying to help him... Seriously, I don't know what his problem is. All I did was grope his chest, France does that to me all the time! And he's not gay or anything.

I think.

But that doesn't call for hitting someone on the head! And he even kicked Gilbird because he wanted to talk to him. Hungary's a bastard =n=


	2. XXXXX2

_A Prussian Diary _

**Warning: **Prussia's thoughts... Yeah, you get it. He's quite the awesome

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Hetalia. Nope, not at all

* * *

**Day: **xxxxx2

**Time: **4:27 AM

THE AWESOME ME CAN NOT SLEEP. What the fuck am I suppose to write in this stupid thing? I want beer...

I don't know why Italy is always writing in this thing. It's really boring. Diaries are gay. So gay that they make France look straight; _and we all know how off that is. _

I found that out yesterday. Me and France were hanging out and talking; ya'know the average stuff. Like Hungary, girls, how dumb our bosses are (besides Fritz) and the works. But then I asked him did he prefer boys or girls. Wanna know what the bitch said? (Kesese you're gonna hear it anyway)

"Ohonhonhon gender is such a stumbling block. I'll take whichever one is beautiful."

"So you mean girls?" My awesome mind wasn't getting it.

"Whichever one is the most beautiful, _mon petite_ _lapin._"

I stared at him like: "What?' When he didn't do anything but laugh I kinda started to scoot away and then I made a half-ass excuse to go home. I wasn't expecting that. In the least...

Oh well, we're hanging out tomorrow again. Just need to be careful about what we do. Or how close he is to me.

I'll probably skip out on him and go hang with Spain.

_***Shrugs***_I don't know. Welp, I'm tired. Goodbye? (Do I say that in dia-er-_journals_?) You know what?

I AM NOW TIRED. THE AMAZING PRUSSIA IS OUT~


	3. XXXXX3

_A Prussian Diary _

**Warning: **Prussia's thoughts... Yeah, you get it. He's quite the awesome

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Hetalia. Nope, not at all

* * *

**Day: **xxxxx3

**Time: **4:30 PM

I'm so bored. Why am I writing in this thing again? Oh, yeah, it's meant for my thoughts.

I wonder if Austria has one? Probably. He's such a pansy. But the Awesome Prussia isn't a pansy! I'm just trying this thing out before dropping it! _Yeah..._

I hung out with France and Spain all day. We went to go prank West but the bastard was out of town. 1) Why wasn't I notified of my little brother's whereabouts? I'm not a big bro for nothing! he's gonna get it later... Back to what I was saying: so instead we stalled at Austria's house. He was being such a killjoy. Whenever we wanted to do anything fun Austria would come and yell at us. But I solved the problem by stuffing a sock in his mouth and tying him on the chair! I dunno why when Hungary saw him he started to blush and draw. He's so weird (but he can pack a punch). After that we spent the rest of the day trying to bat off Hungary's frying pan.

He's a pansy too.

France called Hungary a girl but I was like "Pffft, girls aren't this aggressive, idiot." He just laughed in my face and said something in French.

Un-awesome people, I tell you.

How do I end this?

Bye? No, that's boring.

...The awesome Prussia is now leaving (that sounds weird, too)

Uh...

_***Gets up and leave***_


	4. XXXXX4

_A Prussian Diary _

**Warning: **Prussia's thoughts... Yeah, you get it. He's quite the awesome

**Disclaimer: **I do not own le Awesome Prussia or his hetalian siblings. That is all.

* * *

**Day: **xxxxx4

**Time: **5:19 PM

The amazing Prussia is now granting you with his awesome presence. Be grateful mutha fluckers.

I had an agruement with the little boy that Spain be molesting. I think his name is _Romano? _I dunno he looks like Italy.I think they're brothers... I don't know. But that little Romano guy said that I was an un-awesome bastard! How _dare_ he? I am one hundred and _five _percent pure awesome and if he can not fathom how awesome I am than I recommend him getting his IQ checked. Dumb brat. And Spain was laughing his ass off the whole time! I'm kicking the dick's ass now. Literally.

No, not like _that. _I'm just gonna beat the shit out him.


	5. XXXXX4 point 5

_A Prussian Diary _

**Warning: **Prussia's thoughts... Yeah, you get it. He's quite the awesome

**Disclaimer: **I do not own le Awesome Prussia or his hetalian siblings. That is all.

* * *

**Day: **xxxxx4

**Time: **5:36

Hungary got in the way.

I went up to Spain and I was about to punch him right in the jaw but Mr. Good Guy Hungary here ruined it by hitting me in the back of the head with his evil frying pan!

"Bitches use frying pans as weapons," I told him. My head was hurting like a bitch.

Hungary was all like "Call me that one more time and I'll attempt to strangle you with it, ja?"

"...Bitch."

And that is the story of why the awesome me got strangled by the side of a frying pan.

Hungary is an un-awesome S.O.B. who can't get nothing but dick to save his gay ass life. _France _wont even screw him; which is saying some major shit. The awesome me must have a totally sweet revengeful scheme to get pay back on this bitch. Hmmmmmm

Kesese~ Just thought of one. I say unto you of the un-awesome, SUCK IT LOSER.


	6. XXXXX5

_A Prussian Diary _

**Warning: **Prussia's thoughts... Yeah, you get it. He's quite the awesome

**Disclaimer: **I do not own le Awesome Prussia or his hetalian siblings. That is all.

* * *

**Day: **xxxxx5

**Time: **7:42 PM

It did _not _go well.

Un-awesome people, I tell you.

My vengeful plan: Punch Hungary in the face and get away with it

What actually happened: I tripped over a rock, tried to hold on to something so that my amazing ass wouldn't fall, ended up holding on to Hungary's man-breasts. Yes, _man-breasts. _I did not know that male nations could have titties (don't think about Cuba) or even humans.

If the Awesome Prussia does not have titties than _Hungary _should not have titties. What'do he do with em? grope them at night... Kesese~ That's nastier than Russia groping his-

WHY AM I TALKING ABOUT THIS? (Extra question marks are awesome)

Hungary punched me in the face, then I kicked him in the shin, then he threatened to strangle with me with his frying pan. Which I responded by awesomely saying: "The Awesome Prussia will not stop just because of your petty pan. You're like a woman! Kesese~ ..._**OW****!"**_**  
**

I must think of another plan... Where's Spain when you need the bitch?


	7. XXXXX6

_A Prussian Diary _

**Warning: **Prussia's thoughts... Yeah, you get it. He's quite the awesome

**Disclaimer: **I do not own le Awesome Prussia or his hetalian siblings. That is all.

* * *

**Day: **xxxxx6

**Time: **5:42 PM

Me and Spain spent the day stalking Russia's house. Why? Because it's fucking awesome don't ask why.

1) Russia washes his car

2) Russia bullies Latvia (Nothing new here)

3) Russia drinks vodka (Wait, count that as every part of the day)

4) Russia goes out -Me and Spain crashed his house and stole his vodka

5) Russia comes back and searches for his vodka

6) Russia freaks out

7) Russia punches the wall in (The _whole _wall and forces the Baltics to fix it)

8) Russia grabs his pipe and spots me and Spain hiding behind the couch

9) Russia chases me and Spain out of freaking Russia while swinging his fucking pipe like a wack-job maniac

10) I'm Awesome

...I didn't forget about Hungary. Me and Spain are coming up with a plan...


	8. XXXXX7

_A Prussian Diary _

**Warning: **Prussia's thoughts... Yeah, you get it. He's quite the awesome

**Disclaimer: **I do not own le Hetalia characters

* * *

**Day: **xxxxx7

**Time: **4:57 PM

Still working on that awesome vengeful plan against the Hungarian turd. Who knew planning took so long?

Me, Spain, and France (the Bad-ass Trio) stalled at Japan's place. We've officially brought awesome on that boring ass island. I promise you. We got Japan drunk at the club and made him play DDR in front of all of his people. It was even on _live _t.v. They were all like: "Ah! Japan! Ka ki ku ke ko! watashi wa no like, watashi wa no like!" Or whatever the hell they say. It was almost as awesome as the Awesome Prussia! Almost.

Kesesesesese~

Back to planning...


	9. XXXXX7 point 5

_A Prussian Diary _

**Warning: **Prussia's thoughts... Yeah, you get it. He's quite the awesome

**Disclaimer: **I do not own le Hetalia characters

* * *

**Day: **xxxxx7.5

**Time: **5:28 PM

Planning is horrible, but the Awesome Prussia must not quit! I'm thinking of trying my punch-Hungary-in-the-face plan again...but... I dun feel like it.

Why is it so cold now? I have to wear a stupid un-awesome scarf around my sexy neck. Yes, my neck is **beautiful. **Believe it or not, I won the Sexiest Neck of The Year Award. Nice, right?

Kesesese~

I'm getting kinda sleepy...

_***Snore* **_


	10. XXXXX8

_A Prussian Diary _

**Warning: **Prussia's thoughts... Yeah, you get it. He's quite the awesome

**Disclaimer: **I do not own le Hetalia characters

* * *

**Day: **xxxxx8

**Time: **6:02 AM

The Awesome Prussia has succeeded in my awesome plan for getting back at Hungary! By stealing _all _of his clothes from his locker room and hiding them! Did I say awesome? Kesese, no balls no glory, if ya know what I mean. I wonder how the bastard feels right now...

**Time: **9:04 AM

Hungary came kicking my door in and demanding me to hand him his clothes. I was all like: "Who the fuck do you think you are? The po-Holy Fritz!" Hungary. Had. Boobs. Not man-breasts, but _boobs. _Like a _girl. _It was so unawesome that I felt myself pale and my stomach twist.

Now, I'm not the throwing up type (because awesome people do not throw up) but that was just... a shocker. Who the fuck knew that men could grow boobs?! That's so fucking awesomely unawesome that it made me sick!

"Dude, how'd you grow breasts like a girl?"

Hungary glared at me (while blushing) and then stormed away.

Humph, he's not getting his clothes back anytime soon.

...Spain and France would love to hear this...


	11. XXXXX9

_A Prussian Diary _

**Warning: **Prussia's thoughts... Yeah, you get it. He's quite the awesome

**Disclaimer: **Yep

* * *

**Day: **xxxxx9

**Time: **3:25 PM

Spain was too busy with his "Lovely Lovi" (his prissy words, not mine) to listen so I just told France about Hungary. Why did he give me a look that clearly said: "ORLY?"

"Yo France, you'll never believe what the awesome me is about to tell you."

"Hm?"

"Hungary has boobs."

"..." Yes, he actually _said _"..."

"_Boobs. _Women have boobs, not men, bro."

"..." Then he got that look of ORLY. "Ohonhon~"

"Why are you laughing?!" I swear I was about to punch him.

"You'll find out soon enough," then the French turd skipped away. What man skips?

...I wonder what France meant by that. Does he know something I don't? Grr...


	12. XXXXX9 point 5

_A Prussian Diary _

**Warning: **Prussia's thoughts... Yeah, you get it. He's quite the awesome

**Disclaimer: **Yep

* * *

**Day: **xxxxx9.5

**Time: **4:15 PM

WHY DOES EVERYBODY LOOK AT ME LIKE I'M AN UNAWESOME-TARD WHENEVER I TALK ABOUT HUNGARY NOT BEING A FUCKING GIRL?

I told Spain and he gave me that _same _look of "ORLY?" that France gave me. What? Is Hungary actually a girl? Pfft, far from it. I've seen him take down armies! _All by himself! _No men at all! He even beats me, the Awesome Prussia, with a frying pan! What _woman _can do that? ...To _me?! _

But...

Nah, these people are just dumb.

Maybe I should just ask Hungary himself? He'll agree with me that he has balls, right?

* * *

**Spoiler!: **Next entry, things get emotional~ Muhawhawhaw


	13. XXXXX9 point 7

_A Prussian Diary _

**Warning: **Prussia's thoughts... Yeah, you get it. He's quite the awesome

**Disclaimer: **Yep

* * *

**Day: **xxxxx9.7

**Time: **5:38

Dear Awesome Reader... Wait, why the hell are you reading my diary-erm-journal. Wait. Who am I talking to? Myself? You? But who is you? Me?

...Diaries kill me. Who am I suppose to be writing to? Future Prussia?

...

Dear the AWESOME future me (Prussia),

I. Am. Going. To. Kill. The. Next. Person. Who. Laughs. At. Me. When. I. Say. That. Hungary. Is. Male. Is it my fault that Hungary has female boobs on his man-chest? Huh? Or that no one else can see that Hungary is _fully _man and is a sucker for fights? HUH? If only I could show everyone else that he's a man...

Groping time! ^(o u o ) ~Kesesese


	14. XXXX10

_A Prussian Diary _

**Warning: **Prussia's thoughts... Yeah, you get it. He's quite the awesome

**Disclaimer: **Yep

* * *

**Day: **xxxxx10

**Time: **3:12 PM

This morning was hell. No, it was as if hell froze over and left the unawesome cold in it's place (my poor sexy neck *tear)

Every morning I do some awesome training; like kicking trees down and cutting stuff. All of that jazz. But today, I saw Hungary standing by my house's wall acting all cool and stuff. So what did the amazing me do? Go on with my groping plan of course!

"Hey Hungary! How about the weather?" I went up to him all calm and -ish, doing a hell of a job at hiding my true intentions.

"What do you want Prussia?"

And that was when I attacked. Well, not actually attacked (he had his pan in hand) but ya'know...

I grabbed both of Hungary's non-manly boobs and groped them. Groped them nice and good. Now, you (whoever you are) might be wondering why I was groping him in the first place. Let me give you a 'family life' lesson: girls whine and do all of that un-awesome jazz when someone even _touches _their chest. Males, on the other hand, would either sit there and take it or punch you dead in the face. Hungary's reaction was a shocker.

"Nnngh, Pr-Prussia~"

"O_O" Yes, I actually paused and stared at Hungary like that. What the fuck did he just say? Why the fuck was he panting? LIKE A GIRL?

And then, Hungary started to get mad. "Prussia! Why did you just do that?!" Hungary was swinging his frying pan at me now.

"Y-y-y-y-your a g-g-g-girl?" I was _stuttering _for Christ's sake! Awesome people do _not _stutter! WTH was going on? That was when Hungary charged at me, hit me smack in the face with the pan and then ran away towards his house.

I just laid on the ground pissed and confused. Hungary did both reactions.

...What the fuck now?


	15. XXXX11

_A Prussian Diary _

**Warning: **Gender confusion! Haha poor Prussia; and cursing

**Disclaimer: **Merry Holidays~

* * *

**Day: **xxxxx11

**Time: **5:50 PM

:/ West told me that I shouldn't curse so much. "Gilbert! Why do you curse so much? Hold your tongue once and a while, okay? It's annoying."

"Not as much as your fucking face you fuck-tard bitch." OK, maybe I did go overboard a _little _right there.

"-_-'"

"Fiiiiiiine, I'll hold my tongue... If you stop drinking so much beer. Save some for your big bruder will ya?" I pounded West on his back and he grunted.

"Sure, I don't drank that much anyways."

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that, kesese~" And then I left him to ponder the thought. Like a boss.

Dang, how long is this challenge suppose to last? I want to curse Hungary out for hitting me. That he-she boy. Ugh, so un-awesome.

...Crap, someone's knocking at the door hold up...

.

.

.

"Holy Fritz-!"


	16. XXXX12

_A Prussian Diary _

**Warning: **Gender confusion! Haha poor Prussia; and cursing

**Disclaimer: **Merry Holidays~

* * *

**Day: **xxxxx12

**Time: **6:57 PM

I am retelling this scene in the least horrifying way... Kesese, forget this (still can't curse) I can be as gruesome as I want to be, it's my _bleep_-ing journal.

"Holy Fritz!"

"Arghh!" Hungary was trying to hit me with his frying pan! Full force! He had this crazy-synonym for donkey look in his eyes and I was like: WTF? (Haha, didn't say the word)

"Hungary! You look bat-sugar honey iced tea crazzzzzzzzy," the extra "z's" were because I had to jump back to avoid being hit. "What the Hell?!" (Capital "H", it's the place.)

"I have to!"

"What?" I ran behind the couch (which Hungary banged up with his stupid pan) "THIS IS UNAWESOME!" I -manly- screeched from behind the chair. "Why are you trying to attack the Awesome Prussia?!"

"God told me to!"

"Wha-?" He swung the pan at my face and just _barely _missed. "God?"

"Yes! God came to me in a dream," Hungary was looking frantic now. He stopped swinging that damned (not a curse word) frying pan at me. "I have to hit you with it or God will punish me!" Why'd his voice get all high on that last part? ... like a chick.

I crawled from behind the chair and stood in front of Hungary. "Are you sure? Maybe you just want to hit me yourself? Hmm?" Once I said that, Hungary lowered his frying pan and staggered back. I'm just the type of person who makes people do that ;)

So things got really awkward between us before Hungary left (I was _never _hit :D) but that's not the creepy part. Yesterday I saw Hungary walking to his house from a meeting. With _dozens _of red frying pan bruises all over his skin.

...I guess he really did see God...


	17. XXXX13

_A Prussian Diary _

**Warning: **Gil's getting warmer when it comes to Hungary's gender~ Yeah, words replacing profanity

**Disclaimer: **Merry Holidays~

* * *

**Day: **xxxxx13

**Time: **9:21 PM

"Hey Gil, come here for a sec," Spain waved his hand at me like I was a bitch... the DOG. But, I went over to him anyway.

"What's awesome?" Heh, me.

"Are you and Hungary okay now? I know that she was mad about you for groping-"

"She. You said _she. _Hungary, as un-awesome as it is, is a _man. _What are you guys not understanding about this?" Seriously, are they dumb or something? Spain gave me this look like O~O. I think he was trying to hold back a laugh, because his face got all bright and his mouth kept twitching.

"Mi amigo, tu eres un estúpido tomate, ¿lo sabías? Hungría es, de hecho, una niña. Todo el mundo lo sabe! No eres más estúpido."

...I think he called me a stupid tomato...

"Well, you know what? YOU'RE STUPID!" And then I walked away like a man. Because real men do not get called stupid and take it! Real men walk away. LIKE A BRAWSS!

So, off to France's house to complain. Pffft, I'm the awesomest PMS-er ever.


	18. XXXX14

_A Prussian Diary _

**Warning: **Gil's getting warmer when it comes to Hungary's gender~ Yeah, words replacing profanity

**Disclaimer: **Merry Holidays~

* * *

**Day: **xxxxx14

**Time: **5:24 PM

I sat in one of France's love seats, trying not to think about how many girls...or _men_... he's had 'relations' with on this very couch. So I stuck to leaning on the side, hoping that the lightly colored _stain _on the other side of the seat wasn't what I thought it was. "So, Francey-pants, what's your opinion?"

France stared at me for a while. And then he spoke, "You are a really unintelligent person, aren't you?" He tilted his head to one side and looked all professional.

WHAT THE WEST'S DOGS?

"What cha mean by 'unintelligent?' I'm smarter than you!" ...Because awesome people are GENIOUSIS!

"Why don't you ask Hungary about her-ah~ _His _gender. You'll be surprised." France then started to shoo me from his house, saying something about a "beauty waiting to be pleased."

Huh, I wonder about that chair sometimes...

Okay, off to Hungary's house to PROVE THAT HE IS IN FACT, A _MAN! _

__You believe me, right?


	19. XXXX15

_A Prussian Diary _

**Warning: **Gil's getting warmer when it comes to Hungary's gender :D

**Disclaimer: **Merry Christmas! And to those who don't celebrate it: enjoy~

* * *

**Day: **xxxxx15

**Time: **5:21

Merry awesome Christmas! From the one and only awesome~ ME!

I was on my way to Hungary's but I remembered that it _was _Christmas. And those bastards France and Spain didn't buy me anything! Evil nations... mumble mumble...

I wonder if that fat hog _Finland _is gonna dress up like Santy Clause and fly around the battle fields yelling-

"Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas Prussia! Did you go talk to Hungary yet?" _Jingle jingle_

WTF? "No!" I shouted up at Finland. When did he get here? Finland chuckled, yes! Chuckled! And then flew away on that sleigh driven by reindeer.

What a dick; he didn't give _ME _a present! I puffed out my cheeks (because angry men do that!) and shoved my hands into my pocket. Time to pay Hungary a visit.


	20. XXXX16

_A Prussian Diary _

**Warning: **Here it is! In the least climatic way possible!

**Disclaimer:** New Year's?

* * *

**Day: **xxxxx16

**Time: **8:22 AM

I banged on Hungary's door, like BANG BANG BANG! It was time to prove that Hungary is in fact a-

"What do you want, Prussia?"

"Dear Fritz! Hungary! Where are your clothes?!" To my horror, Hungary only had a towel wrapped around him! And he was really wet

"I just got out of the shower. Now what do you want?" Hungary tapped his foot on the ground but I was busy thinking, _How do I prove that Hungary's a guy? _

Thinking.

Thinking.

"That's it!" I snapped, feeling every bit genius and awesome. I think Hungary asked "What?" but I ignored him. My plan was foolproof! What's the only way to prove one's gender while disclosing anymore opinions? Once. And. For. All? You show the person's jewels of course! "Kesese~" I stepped toward Hungary.

Hungary backed away into the door; he was trapped. Perfect. "Prussia? Why are you coming close to me?"

"Oh don't worry, I'm just gonna have a peek, it'll be over soon enough." That made Hungary turn a BRIGHT red. From his face down to his toes (which looked so small...) I don't get it, why is he so scared? France wouldn't mind if I looked at his parts.

...

Never mind. He's France.

I zeroed in on Hungary, ready to snatch the pathetic towel away, but he punched me in the face before I could even do anything! Sucker move!

"OW! Have you heard of a sucker punch? Those are for unawesome punks! And you just did one!" Gawd, my face hurts.

"What were you trying to do, Prussia?!" Damn, why is his voice so high?

"I wasn't seizing your vital regions or anything, those are saved for Roddy, so why did you deck me in the GODDAMN nose?" That one punch hurt like a bitch.

Hungary's face reddened. He was blushing, and his face looked so...girly. All soft and whatnot.

"What did you think I was getting the impression of? Me, a half naked woman who is seemingly helpless being approached by a creeper like _you? _Think about it Prussia."

Pause. "There are three things wrong with what you just said. One, helpless? Heh, far from it. Two, Creeper? I am not a creeper! And three, DID YOU JUST SAY GIRL?"

Hungary blinked, "Yeah."

...

You guys know what this means right?

I was WRONG. "Are you sure that you're a girl? I mean, you kick my ass all the time. Girls don't do that."

"I'm a nation just like you," she...he bristled. "I need my territory just like you men do! I will fight for my land, man or no man."

Huh. I guess that explains it. "...Aw man, France and Spain are gonna fucking bitch about this for about a century now! That's not awesome!" I think Hungary rolled his...Her eyes but I don't really care. This is gonna be a total pain now.

We stood there for a couple more seconds before it got awkward. Now that I know Hungary is a girl, it's weird standing in front of her while she's basically naked. "Well, suck it later loser I gotta go," and then I ran away. Because awesome people run away from odd situations of course.

O-o


	21. XXXX16 point 5

_A Prussian Diary _

**Warning: **Dramatic Prussia. Slight profanity

**Disclaimer:** You already know

* * *

**Day: **xxxxx16.5

**Time: **6:16 PM

I feel sick. Not that 'throwing up everywhere' sick, but the 'Ugh, life' kind of sick. Not that I'm worried about France and Spain pouncing my ass on how wrong I was, KESESE no. ...Well, maybe a little.

I haven't stepped out of West's house since. He's been complaining about me being a drunk bum but I haven't even taken a _sip _of ANYTHING yet. See how messed up that is?

Well, I'm going to be awesome under my bed sheets for about two more weeks now...


	22. XXXX17

_A Prussian Diary _

**Warning: **Dramatic Prussia.

**Disclaimer:** Do I own Hetalia?!...Nope.

* * *

**Day: **xxxxx17

**Time: **5:47 PM

I. Can't. Do. It.

I tried staying in bed all night, but I had to pee. Like, _really _bad. I was doing all that prissy dancing stuff you do when you have to pee; like squeezing your legs together and making those ugly faces and going "mmmmmfgh." That bad. So I got up, and used the bathroom:

"And if, I EVAH have toooooo tell you~ That YOU ARE, mmmmmmmm baby YOU ARE, maaaaah everlasting joy. AAAAAAAAAAAARGH honie honie child." I stood in front of the mirror, holding the brush to my lips and squeezing my eyes shut. "Yoouu are, my evah lastin' joy-oi. Yeah yeah yeah yeah, yeeeeaaaah." And _that's _how you sing. By shaking that leftover fat on your neck and making ugly faces. Seriously.

I think the mirror was trying to crack because it shook violently after my last note. Pfft, un-awesome mirror. I felt SO relieved after that, that it made me feel HAPPY again. Like all my worries were pissed away; a dream come true, yes?

I wish that stuff actually happened. Then I would get mega drunk (like England on his first beer) and pee away Hungary... And France... And Spain. Buuut, that's not the case :/

**Day:** XXXXX17.2

**Time: **5:58 PM

West was waiting for me outside the bathroom.

"Whoa there! Were you watching me?" He looked focused...and sleepy.

"Vhy? Oh, bruder, WHY?"

"What?" I'm just as confused as you are.

West gave me this ORLY look, "You're singing! I voke me up out of my sleep!"

"...And?" He was awoken by my awesome singing; what about it? "I don't think Italy minded so much so why are you pissing about it?" Pfft, see what I did thar?

That was when West growled at me then retreated back to his room. Oh yeah, score 1 Awesome :P Suck it, loser.


	23. XXXX18

_A Prussian Diary _

**Warning: **Dramatic Prussia.

**Disclaimer:** Do I own Hetalia?!...Nope.

* * *

**Day: **xxxxx18

**Time: **5:27 PM

France came over today. We were sitting in the living room and he was watching me, all intense and stuff. "Stop it."

"Stop what?"

"Watching me."

"Watching who?" Smartass. I raised an eyebrow and he smirked (like the French a-hole he is.) "I-"

"Have you gotten your answer yet?"

Craaaaaap. I knew he was gonna say this. It's not my fault that Hungary acts like a guy when he-she really isn't! If she dressed like a girl than I wouldn't have been so confused, now would I?

...Yes...

"Look, shut up, I-"

"Ohon! So you found out that you was wrong?"

Why does he sound so happy? "Yes, I was-"

"And you can say that without being offensive?"

"Well, I guess but-"

"Awesome people-" Wait. One. Second. 1) Why is he interrupting me? 2) WHAT DOES FRANCEY PANTS (DRESS) HERE KNOW ABOUT AWESOME PEOPLE LIKE ME?

"Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa there. Hold it. Don't go there. Nuh-uh, not even close. I'm awesome, you're not. It's final. And stop interrupting me! Awesome people have the _right _to finish our awesome sentences, okay?" And we do! All the while, France just kept smirking at me. We had this miniature staring contest going on until France ended it by blinking.

Ha! I win, suck it loser!

"We have to tell Spain." Wait what? France got up to get the phone but I stopped him.

"What are you doing. We're not telling Spain." I swatted his hand away.

"Oh, I know." Whew~ "_You _are."

Say wha? France advanced me again, backing me up against the desk that the phone was on. "Wh-what are you doing?" France just kept on walking toward me. I was now backed on the wall, leaning over the desk. France had this hungry (pfft, not Hungary) look on his face and I wasn't liking it. But he just kept coming closer...and closer...and closer. Until our faces were only a few inches apart. I held my breath; why wasn't he backing off?

And then he eased closer...


	24. XXXX18 point 1

_A Prussian Diary _

**Warning: **Prussia.

**Disclaimer:** Do I own Hetalia?!...Nope.

* * *

**Day: **xxxxx18.1

**Time: **5:28 PM

_And he eased closer... _

Until the French bastard was right in my face. "You smell like chick," I was trying to hold back my breath. How awkward...er would that be? Breathing on someone's face. Oh yeah, have fun; but when they turn around and punch you _in the face _don't come crying to meh.

France just smirked at me and then I felt wind whip around me and France had the phone in his hand. _My _phone. "Hey! How'd you do that? Not cool!" He just shrugged and dialed Spain's number. I shifted my weight to my other foot, impatiently tapping my hand on my hip. Why can't they just get this over with? :/

"Oh, hello, Spain? Oui. Honhon, yes, absolutely. Come over for a while would you? I think our friend _Prussia _here would like to tell you something."

Wait. ME?! _I'm _not saying _anything! _No! Nyet! Iie! However the heck you say no in any other language besides German! It's gonna be horrible if I tell Spain! "What are you doing?" I hopped across the couch and reached for my phone but France was out of reach.

"Oh, yes, he'll be delighted to." I will not be delighted to do whatever France just said! I lounged for him again but the bastard moved. "Great! See you in... 30?" I could hear the excited "Si~!" from the other end of the phone. "Alright. Good-bye." France ended the call.

"You freaking French toad I fucking _hate _you right now how un-awesome can you get?! Fuck!" I pounced on France and was now choking him relentlessly. He was gagging and all that jizz but _come on. _Nations don't die so easily, so no harm done.

"Pru- *gasp* Prussia..."

Choke. "What? You punk ass bitch." Choke.

"*Gasp* Hon...hon. Prepare your speech... for Spain. He'll be *gasp* waiting."

...

...

...

Squeeze. "DIE!"


	25. XXXX18 point 4

_A Prussian Diary _

**Warning: **Prussia. And sexual hints. Nothing more.

**Disclaimer:** Do I own Hetalia?!...Nope.

* * *

**Day: **xxxxx18.4

**Time: **7:36 PM

We were chilling on the couch when Spain came over.

"Hola mis amigos! Now, what does Prussia have to tell me?" He was all wide-eyed and knowing... Like France.

"Uh," I kinda froze there. How do I say this? You tell me... Seriously. "I uh-"

Spain raised his hand like some fucking elementary school kid. "Is this about Hungary?!" He still had that annoyingly-knowing smirk on his face, and France was all "Oui oui." ...Where did I find these bastards?

I glared at France, "Shut up." Back to Spain, " Hungary's a ... he's... she's a... Umm." Shit. Why am I sweating so much?

"What? Hungary has a vag-you-know?" Spain's grin widened.

"Wha-WHAT?!" This is un-awesome you guys! My face went all red and stuff and I stiffened.

France followed suit, "And le female breasts?"

"Nice _round _ones too?"

"High voice?"

"Come on,"

"You can tell us."

"We won't say,"

"One,"

"Word,"

"About it."

And then it happened.

"Pffft! Did you seriously think that Hungary was a _girl _this whole time?" Spain broke the laughter first. He doubled-over and banged his fist on his thigh. "I didn't know that you was _that _stupid! Hahahaha!"

"Ohonhonhon, Spain is so right. So when was you going to realize her feminism? When she told you, or when you was about to bed her?" I almost had the urge to kill France right NOW. I was just standing there as they kept laughing, trying to think of something to say. Why is my face burning so much?

"Anything to say Prussia _dear?_" France winked at me.

I smirked. "So, are the drapes the same as the carpet?"

France instantly stopped laughing, and Spain was left nervously chuckling now. "Hey, I don't get it," he looked confused and stupid.

Kesese~ Got you there France! I turned on my heel and awesomely waved. "Oh, you'll find out one day." And then I left.

Because awesome people do that.


	26. XXXX19

_A Prussian Diary _

**Warning: **Cursing and putting thongs where they should not be

**Disclaimer:** Surely don't

* * *

**Day: **xxxxx19

**Time: **2:09 AM

The house is quiet. I mean, ja it's two o'clock in the freakin morning and West is sleeping, but COME ON. I'm bored. And pissed. France and Spain pissed me off. Mein Gott I swear, if Austria mocks me about this whole Hungary thing I am SO shoving his aristocratical thong up his ass and around the corner. No jizz.

But I can not _believe _that Hungary's a girl! It's not right! How can I ever go back in her face again? I mean... I _touched _her. And I had _fun _while _touching _a _girl. _ON HER CHEST. D: I hope West never finds out, he'll bitch about it for days


	27. XXXX19 point 5

_A Prussian Diary _

**Warning: **Brotherly talk, cursing, sexual innuendos

**Disclaimer:** Surely don't

* * *

**Day: **xxxxx19.5

**Time: **7:27 AM

"What's for breakfast?" West was eyeing me like a hawk, so I had to say _something. _

"Hungary. That's what is for breakfast," he said in all seriousness. -w- Am I the only one who thought negative? I was trying to hold back my laughter while Germany had this big vein appearing on his neck. He should chill-lax. ...Like Tobuscus! Wait...that's not in my time period... Anywho,

"Kese, I always knew you were a closet perv, but why would I want to eat Hungary? Ya nasty." Germany's face went this bright red that clearly said PANSY.

"I-I..." He smacked his forehead, "Prussia, Gilbert, why?"

"Why what?" I was basically wagging my tail (if I was a dog. Bitch.)

West glared at me. "How did you not know that Hungary was a girl?" O-o Oh. We're having _this _conversation. "You two spent numerous centuries together and you just found out about her being a _her _two days ago? Where was your logic? You are such a moron," West said, exasperated.

"Hey! Stop riding my ass on this! Holy Rome thought Italy was a fucking girl most of his life! I'm not alone." Lightbulb. "Hey, aren't you Holy Ro-"

"Good-bye." Germany then walked out the kitchen.

...Pansy.


	28. XXXX19 point 7

_A Prussian Diary _

**Warning: **Awesomeness

**Disclaimer:** Surely don't

* * *

**Day: **xxxxx19.7

**Time: **5:37 PM

I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooo bored that I actually counted the 47 o's in 'so'. Count it. I'm right... I think. Anyway, this is unawesome. I got this letter from Hungary saying that she wanted to meet me at her house tomorrow to 'talk.' Talk about _what, _you may ask, but I don't know. And it SUCKS because I don't know. What is an awesome person like ME doing not knowing?

I hope that prude Austria isn't there (even though she lives with him) because that would not go well.

I should grab a pair of thongs to take with me, shouldn't I? ...Not for Hungary! Kesese for Austria. Remember? Thongs? You should. Wait, who is (ARE) you again? This diary_journal_ is killing me. I need beer

_***Gets up and leaves* **_


	29. XXXX20

_A Prussian Diary _

**Warning: **Oh ho ho you'll find out

**Disclaimer:** Surely don't

* * *

**Day: **xxxxx20

**Time: **11:23 AM

"Weeeeeeeeeeeeest!"

Wait.

"Weeeeeeeeeest!"

Wait for it

...

The door opened. "Vat?"

"Why don't you come over and give me some sugar?" I ran my hand through my hair and blew him a kiss (with my freshly applied cherry red lipstick!) "Or are you in the mood for _more?_" I made sure to purr "more" and wink, my index finger to my lips.

West. Face. Went. RED! Kesese I swear, if this was anime then Germany would of had a _major _nosebleed! Not my fault I'm sexy -3-

"Why the hell are you dressed as a maid, Prussia?!" Y'know that red vein that appears on his forehead when he's mad? Yeah, he so has two right now. And a blush. :D

I yanked down the hem of the dress and shuffled my feet (which are in high heels, thank you very much.) "I just thought that-"

"You thought **VAT?**" West was walking towards me and balling his hands into fists. "That's disgusting!"

Your face's disgusting. "It's funny!" I bit my lower lip and lowered my head sheepishly and whispered, "Es tut mir leid."

I swear, he was seriously about to have a nosebleed then. Red in his face like a pansy, West turned on his heel and waved his hand, "Get ready for Hungary, Prussia. And no more dressing up...please." And then he headed straight for the bathroom.

...

XD


	30. XXXX20 point 2

_A Prussian Diary _

**Warning: **Let the Hungary-Prussia-Austria-and other-person-who-wont-be-revealed-yet games begin!

**Disclaimer:** I own the plot/story line. Not the characters.

* * *

**Day: **xxxxx20.2

**Time: **1:27 PM

_Knock Knock _

...

_Knock Knock _

...

_Knocknocknocknocknocknockkno cknocknocknocknocknocknockno cknocknocknocknocknocknock-_

"Prussia! Stop with the banging!" Ew, it's Austria. He was wearing that totally pansy-ed suit thing that he wears every friggin' episode (yeah, I know about the show ;P ) and scowling at me. BITCH please.

"Sir Awesome has arrived, you should be grateful." I stuck my tongue out at him and pushed my way in. Clean, clean, sparkle. Sparkle, clean, clean. I narrowed my eyes. "Where's the dirt?"

Austria frowned, "Are you referring to Hun-"

"Pssssssh, keep your thong on, I'm talking about _dirt._ Like, dirty stuff. Where is it?" Wait one-a minute. XD Austria must think Hungary is a load of shit if that's the first thing that came to mind! Kesekesekesekese.

His frown was still there; "I, unlike _you, _like to maintain a spotless home. Dirt is not welcome here." Austria crossed his prissy arms and started walking away, "I wonder why I let you in sometimes..."

"I am not dirty!" I ran my finger across my uniform...ew. "Uh, that was from the walk!" I said while wiping the dirt off (on Austria's couch, of course!) He gave me this "you're so disgusting" look and turned on his heel again. "Aw c'mon! I'm not _that _disgusting," I followed after him. Austria sat in front of his piano and started playing.

_Durrrrrrrrrrrrrn, ding, piano chords _

"You are quite the disgusting. And a nuisance. A bother even." Is he _enjoying _this? "But, we did not invite you here to...judge, per se, so I will-"

"BOOOO, I dun care anymore." I hopped on the piano before Austria could stop me. "So, lets get this thing over with," I cracked my knuckles.

Austria sent me a glare that looked as if he was about to strangle me to death, but he just kept playing (true pansy to the heart.) "Oh, she'll be here."

I just snorted and started swinging my feet. _***Yawn***_This is boring -_-

...

...

...

The door to the room swung open. "Mr. Austria~ I heard your beautiful music so I just wanted to come and listen to it, is that-a okay?"

O-o Aw _hail _naw


	31. XXXX20 point 3

_A Prussian Diary _

**Warning: **Prussia dislikes chibis... and d's

**Disclaimer: **Is Hetalia mine? You tell me

* * *

**Day: **xxxxx20.3

**Time: **1:30 PM

Before we move further with this story, let me get something straight. I don't like chibis. That's a fucking _nien. _They're annoying, and unawesome, and so freakin small with tiny, high voices. I feel like stepping on them. So imagine how I felt when I saw Italy's chibi carrying a bucket of water into the room.

Yeah, like stepping on him.

Austria barely glanced at the kid before focusing back on his music. I rolled my eyes. Please Fritz...don't make him talk to me. Don't let him talk to me. Don't allow him to even look-

"Ve~ Hi there Mr. Prussia!" Chibi Italy swung the bucket in my face, splashing water on the ground. "Oh..." he started fidgeting. "I-I... Mr. Austria, I'll c-clean that up right away! Ve, I'm sorry!" Then the chibi-thing ran away. WAS HE ABOUT TO CRY? Kesekese punk! I crossed my arms and slid off the piano. That was close, his voice is annoying.

"Yo Austria, do you beat the kid or something? Italy's all shaky around you."

Austria glared at me, "No, I do not. Italy is a fine child, I must say. Much better than you ever was."

I dramatically pressed the back of my hand to my forehead (like Francy-pants) and leaned against him, "Gasp! How cruel of you? Kese you want his d." That's a statement, not a question fangirls!

Austria immediately stopped playing. "What?" He weakly pushed my shoulder- HA! He's weak! - and gave up when I didn't budge.

"Well, maybe not _his, _specifically, but you want _a _'d'. Don't cha?" I flashed him a smug grin. Guys, you should see how red his face is getting! Flustered, much? He then began to sputter a bunch of incompetent noises and I don't have time for that. I got up from the seat and went to the window. "So, when is the hag coming?" She's taking her precious damn time.

The aristocrat gave me this weird half-evil smile and adjusted his glasses. "She'll be here soon enough."

dun. Dun. SUHK MAH BAWLLSSSSS

Kesekesekese don't. Please.


	32. XXXX20 point 4

_A Prussian Diary_

**Warning: **Finally! Hungary arrives!

**Disclaimer: **Is Hetalia mine? You tell me

* * *

**Day: **xxxxx20.4

**Time: **1:40 PM

As you can already tell, ten minutes have passed since our last encounter... Ten. Fucking. Boring ass minutes. I crossed my arms over my chest and huffed. Austria must have planned this for some sick aristocratic enjoyment. I mean, I'm too awesome to wait! And for _what _exactly? A small talk with Hungary? Pssssssssssh-

"Are you guys ready?" A female voice called from the hallway.

Speak of the devil.

I flashed Austria a smug grin and shouted, "Ja! Your husband has been waiting, kesekese. And I, the awesome Prussia." Hungary's face kinda did this twitch, but she just laughed it off... The pansy-ness has expanded.

She walked in the room, dragging a chair behind her, and sat in front of us. Austria still at the piano, me leaning against the piano, and Hungary glancing back and forth between us. Yeah, this is classical.

"So, uh, can we get this over-"

"You like me, don't you?" Hungary was now staring into my eyes. Like a hawk. A womanly hawk that is stalking her prey and- SHE SAID _WHAT_?_! _My eyes widened, like _whooooosh _and I'm now staring back at her. Da fuq? Who she think she is?

"I mean," Austria butts in, "your actions toward her are excessively, um, touchy. Lets say that."

_"Touchy?" _I glared at Austria. "I thought Hungary was a _guy!_" When I said that, Hungary's face flushed and she covered her mouth and nose. ...The hell? Ignoring that weird reaction, I looked at Austria; who was blushing like crazy.

"Ah...ahem," he wiped his brow. "I, _we, _believe that you perceived miss Hungary to be a male because... Because..."

"You were afraid of the idea of me being a girl. That way, you'd have to face your true feelings."

_Feelings? Me? _AFRAID? :O Those words do not go together. Especially when associated with me. Hungary laid her hands in her lap and Austria shifted uncomfortably. Both blushing. Both I am very pissed off at.

This.

Bitch.

I rose from the piano and started toward the door. Hungary reached for my arm, but I shrugged her off.

"Prussia! We're only trying to help!" She stands.

"Ja, stop being emotional!" Austria can _not _talk -_-

I stopped walking when I reached the door. "First," I said, turning on my heel. "I do not see Hungary in anyway besides a fellow nation. Nuh huh, love is for pansies." I glared at Austria, "Like you. Second, I don't need yo help. I'm awesome! So suck it. Third?" I smirked and opened the door, "Stop watching my ass Austria, that's gay."


	33. XXXX21

_A Prussian Diary_

**Warning: **Venting: starring France and Spain

**Disclaimer: **Is Hetalia mine? You tell me

* * *

**Day: **xxxxx21

**Time: **3:33 AM

"Mon Dieu, Prussia! Why must we be woken up so early? I had beautiful women!" France complained like a sissy. He's such a pansy. Why am I friends with him again?

Spain trailed behind us, constantly rubbing his eyes and yawning.

I guess you're wondering what we're doing too. And I have to tell right? It's a diary (hayel yeah, only manly men have diaries... And can admit it.)

Alright: After that whole "Hungary and Austria" thing, I went home and was severely pissed. So, this morning I woke up and called up Spain and France. For venting. _Yes, _men vent too!

Anyways, that's why we are now hiking through a field in the moonlight with many constellations shining above us.

Not gay.

"Can we *yawn* stahp now?" Spain crashed on the grass, curling his toes (no shoes.) I growled, these punks.

"Fine." We stopped walking and sat (Spain-the-pansy laying), then I began my vent. "Alright, you guys are gonna be like 'da fuq' when you hear this. Kese Austria tried to say that my reason for calling Hungary a guy is because I have _mixed feelings _for her. And that I'm afraid of showing them. HA! I am the awesome Prussia! Nothing scares me! Especially some silly she-man!" And that's true -3-

France did this hacking-cough and Spain burst out laughing. See, I _told _ya!

"Ho ho ho, mi amigo, that's so true!"

.~. what?

"Oui, I agree. You are the type to repress feelings."

My turn: DA FUQ? They're agreeing! I pounced on my feet. "What?! I do not! What?"

"Yeah," Spain was wide awake now. "As 'awesome' as you are, you should've known how you felt about la chica." I was about ready to kick Spain in the face. They stared up at me, ugly ass grins finding their faces.

"Why am I friends with you guys?"

They just shrugged and high-fived.


	34. XXXX21 point 3

_A Prussian Diary_

**Warning: **F bomb

**Disclaimer: **Is Hetalia mine? You tell me

* * *

**Day: **xxxxx21.3

**Time: **7:36 AM

_Crunch crunch crunch_

West stared at me from across the table. I rolled my eyes then adverted them.

I don't want to hear it...

"Austria spoke to me."

"Well, fuck it, West!" I threw down my spoon (da cheerios and milk I was crunching on) and face-palmed. Why are people so obsessive over the simplest of things? Hungary's a girl, who the fuck cares now? "Why is it such a big deal if I was _hiding my feelings _or any of that crap? I now know that Hungary is a girl, it's over. Done. Now lemme eat," I picked up the spoon and drove it in the milk. Tiny ripples formed 'round my cheerios.

The big guy (little bro) sighed. Maybe he was actually concerned for me and fucked up Austria? That's pretty badass.

Too bad West is a punk :I

... I'm done with this diary for today... Bad mood


	35. XXXX21 point 4

_A Prussian Diary_

**Warning: **Thoughts, profanity

**Disclaimer: **Is Hetalia mine? You tell me

* * *

**Day: **xxxxx21.4

**Time: **10:32 AM

I don't like Hungary. I don't.

Why do people think that?

... -.- Jealous bastards.

The _awesome _Prussia can not confine himself to one thing. One person. One _female. _Or male. But I'm not fond of the d. More like the **D**.

See the difference?

AHEM. Back to what I was saying; there are _no _misinterpretations of my feelings toward her. I just thought she was a guy. But she's not. Note the _she. _So why are they (the bitch Austria and fuck bruder West) trying to twist my thoughts?

I DO NOT WANT HUNGARY

akjfdbjdfeflp[hjbd the fuck am I doing? Writing out my thoughts and anger in this diary? Journey... fuck it. Diary. I'm not suppressing anything! And my two best not-as-awesome friends believe differently.

(- . -)

z( )z

| \

IT MESSED UP MY PICTURE! fail. This suhks...this sucks major hairy balls...

I'm taking a nap ***throws diary and crawls under the covers* **


	36. XXXX21 point 6

_A Prussian Diary_

**Warning: **Bruderly moments

**Disclaimer: **Is Hetalia mine? You tell me

* * *

**Day: **xxxxx21.6

**Time: **2:56 PM

West decided to do some "spring cleaning." Do I have to say more?

_Vrooooooom vroooooom _

"Vhat are you doing?"

"I'M VACUUMING," I had to shout over the "vroom." Because West was being a cheap priss and said we couldn't afford a new vacuum cleaner; while this one is a piece of shit and so _loud._ I was struggling with it, but I'm still doing a gosh darn pretty damn good job at vacuuming. Because that's how awesome people roll.

Germany crossed his arms and stared at me, an irritated look on his face. The heck I do? I pushed the hunk of noise (because that's basically all it was good for) into the corner of the living room and the thing screeched in horror. Like EEEEEEEECCCKK ka ka ka ka ka eeerrrrghadslkjdcndasdio. A puff of smoke freakin' poured out of the side and the vacuum went haywire! It started going up the side of the wall and spinning and DRIVING OVER MY SEXYFINE BIG TOE.

"Get off mah toe! You can not indulge in this awesomeness!" I shouted, trying to pull the bastard (vacuum) off from sucking my toe ~kesekese.

"eeeaack!"

"Off!'

"Vroom, vroom, vroooooom!"

"I will VROOM VROOM yo FACE if you don't back off!"

West came forward. "Maybe you should move your-"

"Oh no," I patted Germany on his back with my free hand and pushed his head down so he could stare at the viscous beast sucking my big toe. "Older bruder knows best, correct?"

"I do not believe you should be considered as-"

"Who da fuq cares about what you think? I _know._" Ahem. "See, I can not simply 'remove my big toe' from under this...machinery. It must move for _me._"

West's face went stale and he frowned. "What kind of sense does that make?"

"The world is not of the color purple, but of red."

"What?"

"All my life I had to fight."

"Prussia, please let go of me-"

"A fool thinks of himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool."

"You're pretty foolish."

"The snack that smiles back, West." I let go of him and wiggled my toes. "The snack that smiles back."


	37. XXXX21 point 9

_A Prussian Diary_

**Warning: **Mentions of rated M material

**Disclaimer: **Disclaiming this like a true thug life rebel ( XD )

* * *

**Day: **xxxxx21.9

**Time: **11:56 PM

I can't do the sleeping! So I'm snuggled under a crap ton of blankets, holding a flashlight up, and scribbling these words IN DA DARK.

scribble scribble scribble~~~~~~~~~~~~

I spent the rest of the day helping West move around the furniture. We did the living room together then separated for the bedrooms. And guess which room I got to snoopAHEM reorganize? Mah younger bruder's of course! Kesese

At first, nothing special was in there. Just bed, desk, paper, pen, pencils, lamp, window, floor, ceiling, fan, BORING. Oh, radio. And I just did what I had to do; shine the mess out of dat room. But as I was leaving, I stumbled across -my awesome pinky toe slammed into- a giant cardboard box. Like THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS big (think about it, it's huge.)

So what do I do? Go through it of course! It's a part of my brotherly 'cleaning.'

There were tons of magazines in there. War magazines. With guns and grenades and tanks and submarines on the front cover and I had the urge to flip the box over and spill out the contents because West is such a boring war-whore, when I found the _goodies. _

Well hidden in the back of the box, stood PORN. Down and dirty German, French, and lawd those Italians- hardcore BDSM pornographic magazines! XD

I flipped through them and man...those were the freaky editions. _Special _editions.

I put the box back under his bed and held back my laughter. Because at that time, I was thinking of a plan. A _good _plan.

Kesekesekesekese~


	38. XXXX22

_A Prussian Diary_

**Warning: **Prussia's plan begins!

**Disclaimer: **I...do not own Hetalia

* * *

**Day: **xxxxx22

**Time: **4:19 AM

_Knock knock knock _

Alright, mental checklist:

Rope... :D

Tape... :P

Rags... :I

Black ski mask... On my face -w-

GLAD trash bag... ;)

Blindfold... .u. yup!

Awesomeness... FTW!

I stared at the door, trying not to rustle any of the items-especially the awesomeness. Cuz, you know, I'm awesome. Can't rustle myself.

_KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK_

"Ve~ It's so early in the morning... Oh, hey there Mr. Pru-"

"Shut up!" I drove the rag into Italy's mouth and wrapped the blindfold over his eyes.

Part I - Done


	39. XXXX22 point 2

_A Prussian Diary_

**Warning: **Prussia's plan continues!

**Disclaimer: **I...do not own Hetalia

* * *

**Day: **xxxxx22.2

**Time: **4:24 AM

"Mmmfghmf."

"Shut up."

"Ve~"

I punched the sack in the back seat (Italy) in the gut...none too softly. What? He's _annoying! _After blindfolding him and all that jazz, I stuffed him in that GLAD -or is it Hefty? - bag and laid him down on the back seats of this awesome white van.

Not suspicious at all.

Well, ever since then, he's been making those stupid _mmmfklfdshcjsdugf;fsdvb _sounds and pissing off my ears! I can't concentrate on driving _and _listen to his whines.

Ve, this, ve, that. VE VE VE~. How about he take his ve~ looking ass back in DA KITCHEN and make me a mutha fluppin' sandwich?

...You know, that's not a bad idea.

"Where...mmfh...goin?" Italy called from the back.

I stared at the mirror, hoping that my irritated glare would be awesome enough to burn a hole in the sack. It didn't. But don't fear! My awesomeness will prevail!

We (I) pulled into the driveway of my house...but then turned around because that's a bit much for Germany to see. The van. _Suspicious. _And parked the van in our backyard. Towards the woods... kesekesekese.

Italy made a muffled sound and I undid the knot in the bag, freeing his head. "Hey Italy. We're here."

Part II - complete


	40. XXXX22 point 4

_A Prussian Diary_

**Warning: **Prussia's plan continues!

**Disclaimer: **I...do not own Hetalia

* * *

**Day: **xxxxx22.4

**Time: **5:03 AM

"Come on, Italy!" I wanna seeeeeee.

Kesekese, I can't believe this Italian idiot is actually going to do this. Seducing Germany 101 XD and I get to watch the whole thing!

"Ve, Prussia? Are you sure I should be doing this? Wouldn't Germany freak?"

Oh, yeah, Italy doesn't know that he's seducing West yet... But psssh, my plan is going to work smoothly_. SMOOTHLY, _I SAY.

Ahem. "Oh, don't worry. West will be more than fine with seeing you like this, kese. Now, may _I _see?"

I heard a small whimper from Italy, and then he finally came out of the bathroom.

Whoa.

You know those maid outfits? The French ones? Yeah, Italy looks like a fucking girl. His hair down and that dress squeezing _all the right places _is too much.

...

...Shit, is that a boner?

_***Cough* **_Part III - Complete (with a happy ending ;) )


	41. XXXX22 point 5

_A Prussian Diary_

**Warning: **Prussia's plan continues!

**Disclaimer: **Yup, not owning the show anytime soon

* * *

**Day: **xxxxx22.5

**Time:** 12 PM

"Prussia?"

"Yessss, West?" Kesekese

"Ve~ Your lap is so comfortable!"

Let me paint this picture for you: Italy is sitting on West's lap, while the Big Guy is blushing like crazy and squirming. WITH. HIS. HANDS. ON. ITALY'S. WAIST.

He tried saying that he placed them there so the kid wouldn't fall but, in France's words, _ohonhonhon-_kese we **all **know how off that is!

My luck is running good -u- Awesome. Suck it. Wait... You don't know what you're sucking for -AHEM.

When West came home, I told Italy to run up and hug him, _but _the idiot ended up tripping, pushing Germany into a chair, and landing in his lap; isn't that just dandy?

...who the fuq says dandy?

Anyways, I'm just watching them from the corner of the room, waiting for the sex-SEDUCTION to happen. Yep. I might even sell the footage to Hungary...maybe.

"Why is Italy here? And dressed as a maid?"

"That's for you to decide," _***WINK*** _

LET THE GAMES BEGIN!

...Lame ending is lame. Fucking unawesome


End file.
